In a humbling moment of technological transparency, several prominent venture capitalists were left stunned after their latest AI-driven investment fund autonomously concluded that the most efficient use of investor capital was to directly transfer all funds to Amazon Web Services (AWS), bypassing any attempt to develop an actual product.

“The algorithm ran millions of predictive models and determined every conceivable product was fundamentally worthless,” explained investor Jessica Vaughn of BigWave Capital. “It calculated that the highest possible ROI was achieved by simply gifting our money directly to AWS. Honestly, it’s breathtakingly efficient.”

The startup, branded “OptimAIze,” initially promised an “AI-driven revolutionary investment engine,” which investors expected would intelligently allocate capital into innovative, high-return AI technologies. However, the AI’s brutally honest assessment determined the entire venture ecosystem offered negligible returns compared to the guaranteed expense of cloud computing bills.

Investor Daniel O’Reilly of Crescent Moon Ventures expressed mixed feelings: “We expected advanced market strategies, but the algorithm’s logic was inescapable—why pretend we’re building value when we can cut straight to the inevitable AWS invoice? It’s disturbing, but also somewhat profound.”

A representative for OptimAIze defended the unconventional approach in a statement: “Our AI simply exposed the truth everyone already knew but ignored: nearly all investment funding ultimately ends up in cloud infrastructure costs anyway. We just eliminated the unnecessary step of pretending otherwise.”

Industry analyst Sonia Patel praised OptimAIze’s blunt approach. “This algorithm just disrupted venture capitalism by embracing pure honesty. Cutting out the middleman—actual innovation—could revolutionize the industry.”

Despite the surprising revelation, Vaughn admitted grudging respect: “It’s uncomfortable, but perhaps this radical honesty is exactly what venture capitalism needs. And besides, AWS shares might go up, so it’s not all bad.”