Following an anonymous survey revealing that 97% of developers have “complicated feelings” about their codebase, Git has announced a suite of emotionally-aware flags designed to better capture the development experience.
The new flags include:
git commit -m "fix bug" --but-probably-created-three-moregit push --force-with-vengeancegit blame --actually-it-was-davegit merge --yolo-no-conflicts-plzgit rebase -i --good-luck-future-me
“We realized that traditional flags like --force don’t adequately express the emotional weight of overwriting your coworkers’ commits,” explained Git maintainer Lars Hammarström. “Now with --force-with-vengeance, the intent is crystal clear.”
Early adoption has been enthusiastic. Senior developer Maria Chen reported: “I’ve been using git stash --panic-mode at least three times a day. It’s exactly the same as regular stash, but it makes me feel seen.”
The update also introduces contextual warnings:
$ git checkout production
$ git merge feature/untested-friday-deploy --yolo-no-conflicts-plz
WARNING: It's 4:47 PM on a Friday. The --yolo flag has been
automatically upgraded to --yolo-with-consequences.
Proceed? [y/N/call-in-sick-monday]
Not to be outdone, npm is reportedly working on npm install --sacrifice-node-modules-to-the-gods and npm audit fix --just-make-the-warnings-go-away.
At press time, a junior developer was overheard asking if git commit --amend-my-entire-career was a valid flag. Senior developers confirmed that while it wasn’t implemented yet, they understood the sentiment.