Mason Johnson, a junior software developer at enterprise fintech startup FiduciaTech, woke up absolutely ecstatic today, energized by the thrilling prospect of accidentally leaking critical credentials on GitHub.

“Today feels different,” Johnson said, grinning broadly as he booted up his company-issued MacBook Pro. “I’ve been carefully cultivating my careless commit habits for weeks, and I think I’m finally ready to push some real AWS keys.”

Co-workers reported noticing Johnson’s escalating excitement in recent standups.

“Yesterday, Mason told me he ‘almost did it,’ pushing a .env file straight to the main branch,” said senior developer Rosa Kim. “He was visibly disappointed when the pre-commit hook caught it. Today, though, he looked incredibly determined.”

Johnson, whose LinkedIn bio describes him as a “passionate coder who moves fast and breaks things,” explained he draws inspiration from legendary corporate breaches he’s studied online.

“I admire those developers who leave comments like //TODO: Remove hardcoded admin password before pushing to public repo, right above the actual admin password,” Johnson said. “It’s bold. It’s disruptive. It’s an art form.”

FiduciaTech’s CTO, Brian Fischer, stated that while Johnson’s enthusiasm was commendable, he remained hopeful that automated tools and mandatory training would prevent today’s highly anticipated event.

“We appreciate Mason’s initiative,” Fischer said, sweating slightly. “But we’re actively rooting for him to fail spectacularly at this particular goal.”

As of press time, after quickly skimming a headline on Hacker News, Johnson was gleefully typing --dangerously-fuck-my-shit-up into Claude Code while muttering, “This is going straight on my résumé.”